Sex after baby is born--the first two months
My simple suggestion? If you are not sure, wait
Sex in the weeks immediately after giving birth, like sex at any time, should be enjoyable and must be agreed upon by both/all participants. At the end of the day, this is for you to decide, not me, nor anyone else. But there are some practical points to think about.
The reasons why sex might not be ok include:
mum will be physically recovering—it is normal to have bleeding, bruising, tenderness and whether baby was born via the vagina or via a caesarian section, mum will have pain and will need time to heal
mum will be experiencing a whole lot of changes in her hormones and this is often a very emotional time
some of the hormonal changes experienced after birth reduce sex drive and, importantly, lubrication, meaning that sex can be painful, even if mum is recovering well. When you are ready to have sex again, I suggest you start slow, use a lubricant, be gentle and be prepared to change positions or try again later if necessary
babies have little tummies which means they feed lots which means disrupted sleep for the whole household which means you will be tired, really tired. Tiredness impacts significantly upon most people’s sex drive
the breasts have a mind of their own in the early stages! They are tender, swollen, they leak at all sorts of random times, and even if mum chooses not to breastfeed, it takes time for them to settle. Seriously, you may need to wear a bra and breast shields if you don’t want milk all over yourself or your partner!!
sex is much more than penis-in-vagina sex and if you feel ready to try having whichever type of sex, then give it a go. Do allow for tiredness, hormones and those leaky breasts though!
you don’t need to have a formal check up before you start having sex, although in my experience, a lot of women prefer to. If you have a tear which involves the anus (bottom), I would advise you check with your midwife, doctor or physiotherapist before having penis-in-vagina sex
having sex in the first two weeks after baby is born does carry an extremely rare but really dangerous risk of air embolism, so do consider waiting at least two weeks
partners need time to recover too! Birth is an amazing process but sometimes partners need a break before they are ready to have sex again and you will have to guide them to what feels ok for you
Links
Sex and intimacy after a baby (Raising Children)
This is not individual medical advice, this is general information only. If you have a specific question or a particular circumstance, please discuss it with your midwife or doctor.