Priorities. Slow. Easy. Kind.
Can I share something with you?
My waiting room is full of stressed, burnt-out, tired-if-not-completely-exhausted people whose constant, one-word reply to “How are you?” is “Busy!”
I know what that looks and what it feels like
I find it hard to believe I was once so naive, but I thought I was busy before I had children
I had no idea how busy life was about to get, nor any realistic plan about how I was going to manage it
Despite all I knew, or thought I knew, I did not know enough about what it takes to be a parent
If I had my time again, I would be both more organised AND more flexible, if that is possible!
If it is any help to you, here are my thoughts about surviving parenthood:
You need to decide your priorities
There are lots of benefits of doing life slowly
There are lots of risks if you try to do too much
If a sensible, easier option is possible, take it!
Be kind to yourself, as well as to others
Please make time to smell the roses/listen to music/read/catch up with family and friends/dig in the garden/go for a walk/go to the art gallery/watch the footy/cricket/netball/synchronised swimming (you get the idea…)
Your priorities
What is of value to:
You
Your partner
Your family
Your community
Setting priorities is really important. With so much to do and a finite amount of time in each day, you will almost certainly find that you can not do it all. How do you choose?
Things that I have learned over the years:
The answer to “Where do you find the time?” is that you don’t find it, you make it. If it is really important to you, you will make the time to do it
It is very easy to lose hour upon hour on time-wasting activities. I know that once I sit down in front of the TV, I won’t get up again. So I do what has to be done BEFORE I sit down and put the TV on. There are so many distractions making it too easy to lose lots of precious time
Choose wisely how you use your time!
I don’t have to do it all and neither do you. There are some things only you can do, e.g. only you can be the parent/sibling/child/friend, others can be outsourced e.g. online grocery shopping, ironing (there are so many wash and wear options!)
Work with family, friends, online resources to help choose and manage the busy-ness
Slow down. Breathe. Spend time wisely.
We live in a world crammed full of busy-ness. Unrealistic expectations. Too much to do and not enough time to do it in. You know it and so do I. We feel guilty about slowing down: the pressure to do something structured each and every moment of each and every day is immense
We have so much to do, and yet…some of the stuff we “have” to do can be rolled over
Done tomorrow
Not done at all
When you look back, how much of it will have been of lasting value?
If a super clean and tidy house is a major priority, then get extra-organised or get help or both. Or reconsider your priorities
To be in their memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today
To be in their lives today, you will have to carve out time
My advice: where possible, take the easiest option that lines up with your priorities
There is nothing more useful than a second pair of hands. Call in favours. If someone offers help, if possible, say yes!
If you love cooking from scratch, fantastic, go for it. If not, it’s never been easier to make a salad, do a stir-fry, make a meal in 15-30 min
Choose a school/work place close to home or move close to school/work
Car pool with others to help transport the children
My best sponge cake recipe? White Wings, i.e. it came out of a box!
Don’t compare your efforts to someone else’s—they may have different priorities or more resources
Make sure you invest wisely any time you save
In a world where you can be anything…
Be kind
Kind to yourself, kind to your partner, kind to your children, kind to others
It’s undervalued, but being kind, like choosing to be nice, is important
It has a ripple effect which changes our world for the better